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Strusiewicz Michael Swaim David Wong All Columnists Forums Personal Experiences Photoplasty Greatest Hits 9 Disney Fan Drawings That Will Murder Your Childhood Joy 01 6,058,603 Views By Mark Hill | 2015-09-13 6 Horrifying Facts That Get Left Out Of History 02 4,543,226 Views By Joe Hayes | 2015-10-21 6 Things You Learn As A Lesbian Porn Star 03 4,297,272 Views By Robert Evans Lily Cade | 2015-07-19 See More MORE LinkSTORM The Cracked Podcast Craptions Classics Greatest Hits The Cracked Bunker Search Cracked Movies & TV Video Games Weird World History Science Tech Music Write For Us Store Viral Now Home Quick Fixes Quick Fixes Article March 31, 2015 4 Insane Things "The Jinx" Didn't Reveal About Robert Durst By David Christopher Bell | 225,316 Views Tweet By now you're probably aware of the arrest of Robert Durst, the millionaire accused of multiple homicides dating back to the 1970s, who until recently was walking around a free man. And even though the American judicial system prides itself on that "presumption of innocence until proven guilty" spiel, Durst seems oddly eager to give the prosecution the option to spend his entire trial blackout drunk and not wearing pants. bbc.com *burp* The above confession comes from the finale of The Jinx , an HBO documentary series about Durst directed by fellow super-rich guy (and Felicity theme song co-writer, seriously!) Andrew Jarecki. And if we're to tease out their relationship, Durst seems to be Mr. Burns, whereas Jarecki falls into the role Mr. Smithers. Why do we say that? Well, Durst has a penchant for the the kind of cartoonish evil of somebody who lives in an impenetrable force field made of dollar bills, whereas the documentarian Jarecki has been noted for his extreme closeness to his subject . Which perhaps explains why the following anecdotes didn't make the cut ... #4. Durst's Many Ridiculous Fake Companies Remember Vandelay Industries, George Costanza's go-to fictional employer on Seinfeld ? Apparently, fake business names are big with the wife-murdering crowd. According to an author researching Durst, the millionaire maintained a ton of pseudonymous identities and launched several dummy entities -- which wouldn't necessarily be news, except he gave them goofy asshole names like "WoofWoof LLC" and "Woofing LLC." Knowing this is like watching the boogeyman traipse out of your closet and noticing that he's wearing Crocs. Spencer Platt/Getty Images News/Getty Images "What about the logos?" "Eh, just flip the McDonald's one upside down, whatever. I don't give a fuck." Read More Article March 20, 2015 4 Bizarre Gay Stereotypes of the Star Wars Universe By Marshall Lemon | 339,160 Views Tweet Between the films and novels and comic books and the commemorative Burger King cups and that crappy 1997 fighting game in which an unarmed Han Solo was able to fist-fight Darth Vader and win, Star Wars is maybe the biggest fictional universe ever devised. (Discounting unofficial fan fiction -- otherwise the Bible or Home Improvement would probably take the cake.) LucasArts He then wins the dance off to save Lando's rec center too. Read More Comic March 03, 2015 5 Ways The Rules Of Reality Ruin Superhero Movies By David Christopher Bell | 353,000 Views Tweet Anybody looking forward to seeing a classically lighthearted version of Marvel's first family had their dreams swiftly clobbered with the premiere of the new trailer for Fantastic Four . According to director Josh Trank , this film is going to be "hard sci-fi" (think Blade Runner , The Twilight Zone , or Black Mirror -- science fiction that explores a controversial area of science and/or technology to a grim extreme). The director even went as far as claiming this second reboot of a Silver Age comic franchise involving a rock monster and a man who can stretch his arms out really far will be "Cronenbergian" in its grittiness -- implying that Fantastic Four will explore the consequences of Jeff Goldblum dabbling with body horror science. 20th Century Fox They'll need a much larger jar when Reed's dick falls off. Read More Article March 01, 2015 5 Bootleg Toys That Are Straight Out Of The Bowels of Hell By Mark Hill | 438,848 Views Tweet Usually, the only disturbing thing about unlicensed merchandise is the thought that anyone could honestly buy an iPood player or a Rolax watch without realizing they're not exactly legal. However, there's a special subcategory of knockoff merch based on beloved children's franchises that replaces the expense of licensed toys with something affordable, and the family-friendly fun with something utterly nightmare-inducing. Such as ... #5. Dollar Store Magic Wand Comes With Bonus Satanic Terror Unless you're Bill Gates or something, you've probably cheaped out and bought a younger relative a present at the local dollar store at some point -- after all, your jackass nephew didn't get you anything for your last birthday, so why should you spend more than $1 on him? Here's one good reason: If you look closely at the crappy off-brand toy you just bought, the horrifying image below might be hiding underneath. WHIO We'd check under your pillow, too, just in case. Read More Prev 1 2 3 ... 206 Next 6 Hidden Glitches That Make Famous Video Games Way Better By Maxwell Yezpitelok , M. Asher Cantrell 1,960,211 views 10 News Stories That Raise Endless Unanswered Questions By Christina H 1,147,990 views 5 Basic Truths Everyone Agrees On (Are Shockingly New Ideas) By Michael Hossey 965,415 views 4 Sport Scenes in Movies (by People Who Don't Watch Sports) By Soren Bowie 860,360 views 5 Things No One Tells You About Dealing With Death By Felix Clay 858,435 views Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen? 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