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[http://www.egotastic.com/] Photos Videos All star Stars TV & Film Gaming SuperEgo Gear Celebs Sylvie van der Vaart Bikini Majesty Moves on to Greece By Bill Swift | August 7, 2014 @ 12:29 pm Tweet View the Gallery / 10 Photos » Okay, I am getting your letters and I realize Sylvie van der Vaart is no longer Sylvie van der Vaart since her divorce. But I don't think you realize the fifteen minutes of work this is going to take me to change throughout my extensive Egotastic! neural network. But, seeing as how I'm super glad she is single, I'm going to make this the last post with her married name. Going forward she shall be Sylvie Swift, you know, like in my dreams. Sylvie moved her summer bikini hot mom tour from France to Greece so that the rest of the Mediterranean climes could take part in the MILFtastic smoking hot body show she's been putting on the past week. I think all of the EU nations have a right to get her now for a day or two of sunshine and bikini sextastic shows. There's some kind of ruling out of The Hague for this. I just know Sylvie works the beach like almost no other, the now divorced lingerie model probably not hurting for male suitors. If not oglers. If not me. Sylvie, I was pretty damn good in AYSO in third grade. I peaked early, I admit, but we can make this work. Call me. Enjoy . SYLVIE MADE OUR CHRISTMAS IN HER LINGERIE CATALOG WORK 10 Photos » Posted Under: Sylvie Van Der Vaart , Bikinis Zoe Saldana Naked Almost Kind of For Women’s Health By Bill Swift | August 7, 2014 @ 12:10 pm Tweet View the Gallery / 5 Photos » There they go again, those silly magazines promising nekkidness and only delivering half way. Thankfully, it's Zoe Saldana without any clothes on and barely covered up, which means it's a whole lot of temptation and allure nonetheless. Featured in the latest edition of Women's Health magazine, the very healthy and now very pregnant Zoe Saldana shows off pretty much every inch of her body, save for our favorite inches, including a tight little booty that just seems ever so caressable. I'm not sure that's actually a real word, but it ought to be. Zoe most definitely looks healthy to me. Obviously, I'd need my goggles and rubber tipped pliers to do a more thorough examination. Offshore naturally, where the laws regarding such inspections are more lax. Zoe, you are super hot. Becoming a mommy only makes you ten points higher in my book. And, yes, I do have a book. Enjoy. View the Gallery / 5 Photos » Posted Under: Zoe Saldana , Covered Topless Nicole Neal Takes Off Her Top to Contest Mellisa Clarke in the Battle of the Boobtastic By Bill Swift | August 7, 2014 @ 11:54 am Tweet Click to See Uncensored View 6 All-Stars Photos » Time for the weekly throwdown showdown when we pluck two perfectly hot glamour models from the world of giving men so very much to see and insist they go melon-a-melon in the Thunderdome of perfect chesty goodness to determine the finest pair of pert puppies for the week. Some have called me mad for running such a heartfelt heartless game of ridiculously hot bodied perfection. But I hear worse daily from my own family, so your words can no longer hurt me. Today's Battle of the Boobtastic features the so ever sextastic Nicole Neal and her blonde charms against the most au natural of brunettes in the temptation laden Mellisa Clarke. There are no losers in the Battle of the Boobtastic, just a loser. One girl who must go home and shed the tears of the udderly disappointed. And you must decide whose Fate this shall be today. In your expert opinion, whose ta-ta's reign supreme? Battle of the Boobtastic: Nicole Neal vs. Mellisa Clarke Nicole Neal Has Intense Boobtastic Appeal! Mellisa Clarke Is Alt-Girl Funbag Perfection! View Results Loading ... Check Out More Nicole and Mellisa Topless Goodness » Posted Under: Nicole Neal , Mellisa Clarke , Battle of the Boobtastic , Page 3 Magazine , Topless Elle Fanning Sports Bra and Tights Becoming a Regular Summer Thing Thang By Bill Swift | August 7, 2014 @ 11:20 am Tweet View the Gallery / 9 Photos » Elle Fanning has acting chops. But she always wants everybody to know she's got workout chops as well. Still the Hollywood ingenue, she's decidedly decided to make running around town in her sweaty sports bra and stretch pants a part of her daily routine. I suppose we'll eventually get a letter from some senior Fanning asking that the media leave her alone, or, you know, turn around politely as she runs up and down the busy streets of L.A. half dressed, but I for one can't read so good so unless the letter contains pictures, I'm going to claim ignorance. Ignorance has always been my best defense as I have letters from several doctors confirming. Elle Fanning, you are going to become something special in Hollywood one day quite soon. And, I hope you are a beacon for young women to get fit, eat right, and be healthy. Also, you know a beacon for gentleman oglers to get their eyesight checked. But not now. I mean, down the road. Enjoy. ELLE FANNING LOVES HERSELF SOME PUBLIC PROMENADES 9 Photos » Posted Under: Elle Fanning Ireland Baldwin Big Ta’s Bikini Top, Emily Ratajkowski Lingerie Show, and Sofia Vergara Wicked Hot Bikini Highlight the Sextastic Twitpic Roundup By Bill Swift | August 7, 2014 @ 11:05 am Tweet View the Gallery / 32 Photos » Oh, boy oh boy. The Internet just keeps getting better. With every increase in phishing and spam and craptastic that loads up the digital landscape, I try to remind myself on the positive side how we are living in a wonderful era of sextastic self promotion. Who knew there'd ever be a day when some of the hottest celebrities in the world would be regularly sharing photos of their bodies half naked for sheer show-off value? I dreamed it, and now it's actually come true. It truly is a blessed social-technical phenomenon. This week's Sextastic Twitpic Roundup includes the divine Emily Ratajkowski looking sultry in lingerie, Sofia Vergara and her veteran crazy hot body in a bikini, Ireland Baldwin showing off her ample bosom, Jen Selter and Michelle Lewin throwing down in beachy booty competition, Ashley Sky in smoking sextastic lingerie poses, Lucy Pinder and her stellar chesty goodness, Lindsay Lohan sideboob, and so much more. You owe it to the most giving gods who return NFL football to us each August to check out each and every one of these ridiculously enticing social media candids. Enjoy . LAST WEEK'S ROUNDUP IN CASE YOU WERE IN IBIZA 34 Photos » Posted Under: Sofia Vergara , Sextastic Twitpic Roundup , Twitpics The Weekly WTF: ‘The Kung-Fu Master Jackie Chan: Jackie Chan in Fists of Fire: Legend of Jackie Chan’ Has Too Much Effing Jackie Chan In It By Chris Littlechild | August 7, 2014 @ 9:45 am Tweet Perhaps you’re an aficionado of all things Jackie Chan. You might live, breathe and crap Jackie Chan. His acrobatic badassery in movies, his questionable Chinese pop music career, his charity work... what’s not to like? You might even say that you’re a big freaking Jackie Chan fan, man, if you’re the kind of guy who busts rhymes like Eminem with no effs given. But even you, hypothetical dude, can’t handle The Kung-Fu Master Jackie Chan: Jackie Chan in Fists of Fire: Legend of Jackie Chan . It’s just too much Jackie Chan. This little doozy is an arcade fighting game from 1995. It’s a remade edition of the far-more-sensibly-named The Kung-Fu Master Jackie Chan , in which the main man himself wasn’t even playable. And who the balls wants that? Nobody, that’s who. So, after a scathing review or two ( ‘this shit needs more Jackie Chan in it,’ that sort of thing), this upgraded edition hit arcades. Good news, gentlemen: the game was now 300% more Chantastic. Read More » » Posted Under: Game Feature By Jack | August 7, 2014 @ 7:50 am Tweet View the Gallery / 10 Photos » Brazilian model and hot person Alessandra Ambrosio was spotted in Beverly Hills in a pair of tiny shorts. That's what's magical about this time of year. It's short shorts weather and no one can pull it off better than Alessandra. It's no accident that she's one of the biggest models out there. She's got the classic height of a model due in large part to her long amazing legs. Seriously, look at them. Only in Brazil could you create legs that look like that. The shorts also accentuated her shapely booty. One of the things I love about Brazilians is that they somehow manage to be both thin and curvy at the same time with very little body fat. How do they do it? I've had Brazilian food and that stuff is fattening. Well, at least for me. I guess it must be genetics. If that's the case then I want to kiss Alessandra's father for making her. Sadly, we only have a month or so left of short shorts weather. So, go out and get as much ogling at girls in shorts in while you still can. Posted Under: Alessandra Ambrosio 1 2 3 4 5 Next Follow Us: Contact Us Stuff Guys Like TV & Film ‘Sin City 2′ Star Eva Green Makes Compelling Pro-Nudity Argument on ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’ Gaming The Weekly WTF: ‘The Kung-Fu Master Jackie Chan: Jackie Chan in Fists of Fire: Legend of Jackie Chan’ Has Too Much Effing Jackie Chan In It SuperEgo Finally, We Know What Yoshi’s Real Name Is Gear From Lighter to Torch and Back Again: Soto Pocket Torch Celebrities Sylvie van der Vaart Bikini Majesty Moves on to Greece The Hot 5 1 Chloe Moretz Bikini Pictures Lighting Up the Internet with Lit… 2 Camille Rowe Lingerie Sextastic Puts the Booty Perfect into Th… 3 Helen Flanagan Topless Almost Boobtastic Show Continues to Be … 4 Melissa Ceja Looking Sexy At Wet Republic 5 Valerie van der Graaf Holy Sextastic In Lingerie Will Make You… Videotastic ‘Broforce’ Approaches the Outer Limits of Manliness… ‘Sin City 2′ Star Eva Green Makes Compelling Pro-Nudity Argument on… Jennifer Nicole Lee Comes to the Egotastic! Offices For… Nekkidness, Zombies and Toy Cars in CoinOpTV’s Essent… More » Bikinis: Most Recent Posts Sylvie van der Vaart Bikini Majesty Moves on to Greece Lourdes Leon Bikini and Booty Cushion Show in the South of France Elle Goulding Bikini Pictures Join the Ibiza Exhibition Parade Michelle Lewin Thong Bikini Thumper Madness in Miami Ana Braga Shows Off Her Bikini Body In Miami More » Hot on the Web Tori Kelly Premieres 'Silent' Video From 'The Giver' Soundtrack HuffPost Celebrity Flight Crews Get Special Ebola Training TMZ.com Kate Upton appears on the cover of the November issue of... Fox News It’s that time of year again! Who’s ready to fire up the tailgate? (24 Photos) The Chive 6 Classic Movie Villains Who Died Really Stupid Deaths College Humor Top Stories Jesus Christ, Chrissy Teigen In ‘Esquire’ Pancreatic Cancer, Huh? 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