A Man All the Ladies Love


One might consider him a wizard who can make you look beautiful, while someone else might question his work, saying it alters that which Nature has created, but the fact is after chatting with this transplanted Western Ukrainian you can’t walk away indifferent to his chosen profession. 

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While holidaymakers on the Red Sea are happy to hang on and stay upright, professional wakeboarders are an altogether more daring breed, living for the opportunity to impress spectators with their flashy death-defying stunts and then boring them to tears with incomprehensible talk about them afterwards.

Having been named amongst the top twenty  in this year’s Miss Universe contest in Los Angeles, Inna Tsymbaliuk returned to Ukraine with the nickname of Barbie, worldwide exposure, and the admiration of that well known connoisseur of Slavic womanhood Donald Trump. A triumph all round then, as Inna relates to What’s On.

Pasty skinned, salted snack loving recluses have been worked up to a frenzied state over the last few months thanks to a series of summer sightings over Southern Ukraine. Things began in earnest back in July when Vladimir Belozyerov of Simferopol, Crimea had a close encounter of the first kind, claiming to have seen a bright white light below the constellation of Cassiopeia.

Expect even more oohing and ahhing from technology-mad locals in the near future, with Imax Corp., an entertainment technology company that specializes in 3-D film presentation, announcing that it plans to construct two Imax theatres in Ukraine.

West Ukrainian moggy Murzik recently became Ukraine’s oldest cat, celebrating his twenty-second birthday (that’s over 150 in cat years!) with his doting owner in their hometown of Lviv. Murzik was discovered as a two week old stray in an alleyway and has since used up his proverbial nine lives, almost dying in a fight with other tabbies and also falling from his sixth floor balcony.

Barking man Turkmen leader Saparmurat Niyazov has promised each of his ministers a brand new Mercedes to mark the fifteenth anniversary of the country’s independence. In true Soviet style the President-for-life has also promised to upgrade regional chiefs’ jeeps to the aforementioned German luxury car if they manage to bring in their cotton harvest early, which is no doubt good news for the virtually enslaved cotton pickers of the Asian banana republic.

A Ukrainian army officer faces jail having shot a hapless soldier in the head for watching television at the wrong time of day. The unfortunate private took time out from guarding a chemical plant in Poltava region to catch a show, unbeknown that an officer was lurking in the shadows, pistol cocked, and evidently in a remarkably bad mood.

Self-styled giants of Europe Liverpool could be coming to Kyiv to play their third round Champions League tie with Maccabi Haifa after UEFA expressed security concerns because of the ongoing conflict in the Middle East. A statement read: "Uefa has decided no European competition matches can be staged in Israel until further notice." The tie, which will be staged on 23 August, could be played at Dynamo Kyiv's stadium after the club's president gave permission. Dynamo supremo Igor Surkis told The Times last week: "I was approached by people from the Israeli club and also Israel's ambassador in Ukraine, who asked if it was possible to play the game here.

¹.30/2006
Over these past seven years I've been lucky enough to cover some of the most exciting events in Ukrainian history, including everything from rigged elections and revolutions to the ups and downs of the Ukrainian football team. Throughout it all I have often been struck by the startling number of characteristics that Post-Soviet Ukraine shares with the ill-fated Weimar Republic of inter-war Germany. First and foremost there's the proliferation of the devil may care, short-term attitudes that instruct so much of Kyiv life, helping to infuse the society scene with a highly hedonistic quality and encourage the growth of an exciting experimental arts and musical scene. Then there's the plethora of political parties seemingly coming and going, with members flitting from one to the other seemingly at will. We also have a wealthy and influential Jewish community and gutter level anti-Semitism. And then there's hyper inflation and the widely held belief that the country is corrupt and in need of a strong leader. I'd even swap you a Moroz for a von Papen, but that might be getting a little too carried away. After all, however depressing it may be to see the disgraced big man, Viktor Yanukovich, bounding back into power with his cronies, this is not 1933 and the parrallels are not so exact. Unfortunately one side effect of this latest political disappointment could be a significant boost for nationalist extremism. Far right groups have been bubbling under the surface for years in Post-Soviet Ukraine - viewed as fringe fanatics by the powers that be, much as they were in Weimar, and this current climate of perceived national betrayal is fertile ground indeed. As I look at those Swastika-style nationalist flags still flying on Maidan I can't help wondering just what sort of Ukraine these protesters are ready to fight for. It is certainly not the kind of country millions envisaged when they took to the streets in 2004, and with all eyes on the return of the old guard it is worth noting that there are plenty of other evils which could also pose a threat to Ukraine’s fledgling party politics.

Well-known Kyiv beauty Lilya is best known as the face behind the Miss Ukraine beauty franchise, but while she is most readily associated with preening princesses and forced barbie doll smiles, the Kyivlanka is currently displaying an unexpected sense of humour and irony as the husband-hunting star of new 1+1 comedy 'Let's Get Married'.

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